Stepping back.. Starting back in shape

Gymnastics training, cheerleading and dancing – these are just some on the bucket list of my old activities. Two thousand and nine was the year of full of confidence and exuding of lightness. I could fly when I’m being tossed in the air. I loved how the feeling of doing stunts without any hesitation because I was tiny and light.

I was a perfect skinny four years ago.  Having a 24-inch of waist line, not to mention the tiny arms and legs. I could confidently wear short-shorts, fit sleeveless and even show off my waist on a hanging top. I even got a wonderful exposure on television that time.

When we had a summer vacation in the same year at Puerto Galera, I wore a pink and sexy two-piece outfit with lovely cousins. It was the best beach trip ever. I didn’t care what to wear. Summer for me, is the best time to show off that sexy curves.   

           

That’s how confident I was. I was not afraid to take a picture of myself. But, it changed. I stopped training in the team. Imagine, I gained exactly 30 pounds. That’s a big amount of weight. 

My love for summer turned out as nothing exciting. My couple of friends invited me to hit the beach, but I declined. I would get envy to their hot bods. I couldn’t show mine. I would rather stay in our house than hearing the same comments that felt them bad on what happened to my body.

Months after months, my friends always shocked to see my huge body. Same questions “What happened to your legs, arms and waist. How’s the old perfect curve of body?”. Two words: Sad but true. Another thing, my shorts and tiny shirts couldn’t fit my body anymore. I still keep it somehow, thinking if I could be back in shape.

When I tried to get back with the team, the simple warm up to me before became hard. I hardly lift myself to do some stunts – simple lift and toss. My lifters were having a hard time to do our old and usual routine we had. That’s because when I stopped training, I began to love foods and not care of what I eat.

Since I received harsh comments about what I look, I started to have a low self-esteem. I even hated myself for allowing these things to happen. I didn’t realize that sometimes I've wasted my money going to different restaurants and bars just to taste the best foods. I eat like there’s no tomorrow. Eat, no exercise. I forgot that exercise was essential.

Yes, I was selfish. I didn’t even share all the blessings I had. I won a total of P60,000.00 on TV shows. I used it for nonsense things. I couldn’t believe I spent it for nothing. Until now, I can’t figure out where that big amount of money did it go. It seems in a snap of a finger, it all lost. I could only remember I spend it eating to my favorite restos. How I wish I had donated the money to some foundations. But, it’s too late.

Now, I’ve learned a very big lesson from spending my money to caring my body. I guess these bad things happened to me just because I need to learn from my huge mistakes. The reason why I want to get back in shape is to bring back my confidence that I once lost. I want to do again my old sports and activities. To challenge myself this year, I will try to join competitions as soon as my body is ready physically and emotionally.